Always give the benefit of the doubt.
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Dating is tough. You never know what kind of emotional issues the other person is dealing with. Maybe they have crippling social anxiety, and had a panic attack on the way to see you.
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Maybe they just got out of a traumatic relationship, and thought that they were ready to date, but ended up not being after all. In this case, it really isn't you. The best way to deal with the situation, says Huerta, is to avoid being hard on yourself and do some self care. Call your best friend or someone you can talk to as you're leaving if you feel embarrassed.
While being stood up in the moment can really suck, take it from someone who has been there: The sting goes away quickly and, who knows? Maybe being stood up is a blessing in disguise. We ended up chatting for the rest of the night, had an absolute ball, and going out for a few months.
Truly, you never know when or where you'll meet someone special. Try to remember that it's not your fault you got stood up, and that it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Whoever stood you up was probably dealing with a lot of their own personal problems. You are fabulous, and whoever you do end up going out with is so lucky! By Rachel Shatto.
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- Look for simple fixes.
- HOLY GOD IN THE WOMB OF SIN.
I was writing stories hoping they would say something thematic, or address something that I was wrestling with philosophically. It was exciting, and even a little terrifying. Habits of writing can be learned. We can to choose concrete language over overly abstract language. We can learn to use active verbs instead of passive verbs. To bring in at least three of the five senses to activate a scene.
It's not an uncommon problem, but it has many sources.
All these things we can be taught, or learn on our own from reading. These are all part of your toolbox—but that toolbox will always remain locked if the writer is not genuinely curious about what he or she is writing about. To me, that is the essential ingredient. Late in his life, Faulkner was asked what quality a writer most needs —and he said not talent, but curiosity. I love that line from E. Is there vegetation? What kind? What are the sounds? If I capture the experience all along the way, the structure starts to reveal itself.
My guiding force and principle for shaping the story is to just follow the headlights. You must also be curious not just about perceptions, and the physical word, but about the character. Writing with character. Is that really what she hears, and thinks and feels? I would say most days. So I constantly am a vicious, merciless rewriter when it comes to truth. Now, dreaming your way through a story is very useful at first—for the first draft, maybe the first two drafts.
Bausch would be the first to say that once you dream it through, try to look at the result the way a doctor looks at an X-ray. At least six months. Have two seasons go between you. And then when you pick it up and read it, you actually forget some of what happens in the story.
That hardly happens to someone
You forget how hard it was to write those 12 pages. And you become tougher on it. You see closer to what the reader is going to see. What I look for at this point is dramatic tension, forward movement, and, frankly, beauty. I try to make it as truly itself as possible. I get really merciless. If I feel some real energy on page 93, and I think that should be page 1?
That Hardly Happens To Someone!
Those first 92 pages are fucking gone. That may be the distinction between what makes a really good book and a great book. But Americans are very impatient with failure. And I understand it. This is very risky, terrifying territory writing this way. Frankly, I just feel so alive when I write that way. The first thing I do is go to my office, which is a nearly soundproof cave in my basement.
But I also have to write in hotels and on planes and shit all the time, so.
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The big ritual is that I read a few poems. I must have volumes of poetry. And I read it just to, you know, sprinkle flower petals on the bed and put a little Luther Vandross on. To get me in the mood.