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Doing any of the above will lead you more quickly to burnout, strain your relationships with your colleagues and employees, and make it more difficult for you to make clear-headed, rational business decisions. The terrible irony is that, in your desire to learn how to run a successful business and do everything possible to keep your startup alive, you may actually be steering it, and yourself, into the ground.

My husband, Ned, and I learned this the hard way. We had gone all in with the business—to an unhealthy degree. We had relocated from the U. I joined his company, and we both worked at least 15 hours a day, six days a week. We talked about work incessantly, even late at night when we were lying in bed together. Isolated in a foreign country, all we had was each other and our work.

Within months, we were paying the price for living this way. Our mental and physical health had plummeted; we were perpetually anxious and fearful. In short, we were miserable, even though the company was steadily growing. When I hit rock bottom and fell into a crippling depression, we realized that we had to make some drastic changes. Our very lives depended on it. Ned and I began reserving weekends for leisure and rest. We set aside date nights, during which we committed to not discussing work. We focused on connecting with wise mentors and developing friendships that fed our souls.

Each of these newfound behaviors reminded us of a truth that we were just beginning to grasp: We were individuals, separate and independent from the company. Our identities were not dependent on the business; our sense of self was based on far more than work. Though this perspective shift took time, the payoff of choosing to invest in things other than work was almost immediate.

Ned was able to let go more, delegating responsibilities to others and making new hires.

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This empowered his team and lightened his own load. Regardless of whether the business thrives or flails, or we walk away with millions or with nothing, we will still be okay. Because the pressures of being an entrepreneur inevitably push you toward merging your personal identity with your business, you must commit to an ongoing pattern of intentional choices in order to establish a robust sense of self.

If you run a business and you are in the early stages of starting your company, you may not see self-identification with the business as much of a problem.

Meek Mill - Dream Chasers 2 Intro (Official Video)

And it may not be—yet. But staking your well-being and self-worth on a very unreliable startup will catch up with you at some point. Almost every entrepreneur I know has reached a searing nadir of stress or pain before reaching this understanding. So the earlier in your career that you can establish healthy boundaries between yourself and your company, the more successfully such practices will serve you.

In addition, regularly stepping away from your company—both physically and mentally—will give you the opportunity to invest in and enjoy other priorities. Consider setting aside at least one weeknight and one weekend day to be free of work. You may also want to pick a space in your home, such as your bedroom or your family room, as a place where you do not discuss work or check your emails. This gives you the opportunity to practice living apart from your company on a regular basis.

And it helps ensure that these regular activities become part of your weekly rhythm—and your sense of who you are. Ned meets regularly with an executive coach, whose primary goal is to help him be as effective a leader as possible. Interestingly, though, this coach leads almost every conversation they have with these two questions: Have you been playing music recently?

He knows, after working with hundreds of executives and entrepreneurs, that living a balanced, healthy life is foundational for long-term professional success. Soon they become addicted to the chase itself rather than rationally evaluating each opportunity as it comes. All their time and energy is taken up with racing after potential breaks.

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It also creates space in your life to focus on the highest potential work opportunities and to pursue personal priorities outside of the company. Some entrepreneurs may have difficulty evaluating if an opportunity is worth pursuing or if it requires more than they should reasonably give. If this is the case for you, consider enlisting the help of a mentor or adviser that you can call upon each time a new business prospect emerges.

Ask him or her to help you think through the pros and cons of a business opportunity before you devote much time or energy to it. This will then allow you to hand off the tasks that are the most draining for you. In addition to lightening your load, delegating and collaborating will make it clear that the company is not just about you.

Instead, the business is dependent on the efforts of an entire team. The burden to succeed, and the cost of any failure, will then be spread out across multiple people rather than sitting on your shoulders alone. This will help alleviate your stress, and give you more options to pursue different opportunities, ideas, or activities that capture your interest.

This could be a friend, family member, mentor, or significant other. Their role is to help you remember that you are valued and appreciated outside of what you accomplish or how successful your company is. This person will engage you in discussion topics about things other than work and encourage you to pursue hobbies and recreation that nurture your health and well-being.

Why Running Your Own Business Becomes Personal

He or she can also hold you accountable to setting and maintaining boundaries between your business and your personal life. This is someone who will be in your life no matter what happens with your startup. Regardless of whether you succeed or fail, you will still have this relationship as a lifeline to hold on to.


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If you struggle with defining yourself by your business, what do you do to draw a clear line between your identity and the company? When have you had a hard time doing so? Let us know below.